Problems with Star Trek

The list so far -


1  Weekly trauma. Every 7 days the highest ranking officers on the Enterprise are subjected to terrible danger or significant stress. Those events are usually life threatening. But nobody shows signs of PTS.

2  The highest ranking officers survive every terrible event thrown at them. Only minor crew members get killed - crew members we've never seen before.

3  Every single alien the Enterprise encounters is 'humanoid' in appearance. 

4  Every alien has a mouth and communicates by sound. There's never any reference to how the translation into english happens. The translation is automatic, smooth and accurate - no problems with stuff getting lost in translation or encounters with aliens who DON'T communicate via sound.

5  The technology on the ship is similiar to current technology - how come touch screens and tablets are still in use that far into the future?

6  The Klingons have figured out cloaking technology, but the rest of the Federation hasn't. After the Klingons joined the federation why didn't they share their cloaking technology with others?

7  No-one is ever shown using the holodeck for sex. In an emergency people will walk in and interrupt officers in the middle of a holodeck session - they never catch them out having virtual sex - no-one is concerned about PRIVACY.

8 Have viewers seen every part of the ship? Sometimes the main characters walk down a corridor past unknown crew members. Where are those minor characters going?  What job do they perform? Example - Are they on the way to a huge 'laundry' room where uniforms are steam cleaned ?

Short story - starting

Found some simple advice about short story structure. Lets try this with the 'house' story: 

1. Dramatic start (scene)
2. Decisive sequel
3. Surprising middle (scene)
4. Satisfying end (scene)

Note - sequels are less than half the length of scenes 

Hmm - only 1 sequel in a short story? And does the opening need to be 'dramatic' - maybe it needs to be compelling (raises questions, intrigues you) without necessarily being jaw dropping dramatic.

Must check out some short fiction and see how many times I can tick the 4 boxes.

The house story -

For inspiration I'll construct the opening around the prologue from a military sci-fi novel. I see a powerful alien bad guy confronting a human engineer. 

And I'll write out some cool moments based on the true story. Focus on conflict and writing dialogue to try and find the characters. Then shuffle stuff around to find connections - see which part of the story a scene or moment belongs to.

Sudden inspiration this morning about using the symbol of the tattoo. In the ending the engineer reveals his own tattoo - shows he's switched sides. And I can see how to raise the stakes - the defeat of the Bad Alien means the future will be different for other races   :   )

Enlightenment story

Came back to the enlightenment story again. 


I have this intent to write about the similarity between fake gurus and fake love. An idea that gurus who preach selflessness, compassion, loss of ego etc, are often selfish and inflated with a sense of their own importance. But their devotees choose not to see the guru in front of them. The same way people in love choose not see that they aren't loved back. Most of us want to stay in the dream, we want the romance to continue.


So the picture in my head (a scene from real life) is of 2 people inside an ashram about to receive shaktipat from a famous swami. And I just sit there blocked. I can't work out how to reveal the boyfriend and the swami are both phonies. I see now that it's boring being stuck inside the POV of a sad girlfriend for most of the story. I need action in some form. But how to set things in motion ? How to show the MC waking up and seeing reality ?


I was also struggling with bringing E to life. Then the idea came, out of no-where, to base the boyfriend on W instead, and I felt something click.


I'm still making the mistake of not letting go early enough when I get stuck. I just stay trapped by the same scene, the same line of dialogue, the same POV, just asking myself over and over, why isn't this working? I need to let go earlier, experiment more. Remind myself I'm just writing words that no-one will see until I'm ready to show them.


I so GET it now. The need to let go and kill your darlings.


AND - Real life can be great inspiration, but doesn't transfer directly into fiction. 


Sometimes you also need to raise the stakes to make a good story. In real life I gave E $200 for an intensive workshop with Baba Muktananda. In the fiction, maybe the MC will give her boyfriend money for the cost of a trip to India. Maybe he's been living off her for several years. Maybe I could change the location from a small ashram in Melbourne to a famous ashram in India. 


So, in a nut shell -


MC adores W who is seeking enlightenment. MC's desire is to feel settled and safe with the perfect lover. She ignores a feeling that something is wrong, ignores the fact that W is increasingly distant and cold. W's biggest motive is to learn to transcend his emotions and become enlightened - to reach a state of bliss, a state of perfection through his Indian swami. There is a precise moment when MC realises the swami is fake and this also opens her eyes to the fact that she doesn't have a real relationship with W.


But how to SHOW this ? How is reality exposed to the MC through a fake guru?