Saturday, May 24, 2014

Third person and deep POV

Been trawling the net, desperate to find a copy of Fallen, a short story by Alicia Gifford. One of the most perfect pieces of flash fiction I've ever read. 

Note to Self - when you fall in love with a piece of fiction, make a COPY.  Don't just paste in a link to the old magazine issue and assume you'll be able to find the story 2 years later.


This morning I found and read another piece by Gifford - After the Fire

Liked the way Gifford doesn't always use dialogue marks or tags, the way it added to a deep 3rd person POV, a feeling of momentum.

I've also seen writers strip away marks and tags when there's only a few lines of dialogue - so the dialogue doesn't take on more significance than it should

Want to experiment with this for draft no. 1057 of the WIP.

He reaches for the bong and knocks it over so that the stinky water empties onto his sofa. Just then the phone rings and it's his brother David on the caller ID.Fuck! But he picks up as he heads to the kitchen for a towel.
Has Tante Risa called you? David asks.
No. Why?
Oh, David says. God, she's supposed to call you.
Lenny has to steel himself. He can't help it. He accepts that his brother is gay, but does he have to talk all mincey like that? Is it required?
Anyway, David says, Mother has to go to an assisted living place. It's time.
The kitchen towels are wadded on the floor in a mildewed stink. The last paper towel slides off the roll. He grabs some dirty underwear from the laundry hamper and goes to mop up the bong water while David tells him how their mother wandered to the 7-Eleven half-naked and that the cops had to detain her like that until they located him.
You left her home alone?
Anna was taking a little siesta. I think she drinks.
There's one more swallow left of tequila, and a bottle of Manischewitz cherry wine in his cupboard. He slugs down the tequila and tears at the seal of the wine bottle while David tells him he's checked into a number of places and it would cost them each about $2,500 a month.

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